When I die.....

I want these songs played at my funeral.






I'm not even kidding. I want to be buried in a black t-shirt with this photo ironed on the front.



I want these guys to be my pallbearers.





And I'd hope anyone attending would dress in something bright, with a large hat. May I please recommend either of these:






As for my funeral? I don't want some priest blessing my coffin in a church! What good will it do? I want to have my coffin propped up in front of a tree. A tree that stands alone in a large flat field. Something like:




I want my coffin open, propped up, so my body stares down with it's arms crossed like an X and fingers throwing devil horns. I'd also like to be wearing sunglasses. But not some designer Ed Hardy print glasses! I'm talking more like the pair Bill Hicks or the Blues Brothers wore.

And flanking my casket must be two fully stocked bars (open of course), with bartenders only making boat drinks.




All in attendance must carry 9mm handguns, with blanks of course. Whenever Matador and Os Mutantes comes on the speakers, everyone must raise their guns in the air, pop off a few rounds, scream a whole hell of a lot, and dance. If they don't dance, they must be shot with real bullets.